Defying Belief
by Arcane Aegis
Summary: Their first meeting was something to remember. He had never been so humiliated in his life, and she was stuck in la-la land. [Oneshot]


Tsukune was not at all put off by the creepy bus, or its equally creepy driver. The man's shining eyes and unusually deep voice were just flukes, and possibly why this creepy place had hired him in the first place. Equally disturbing was the complete absence of life between the bus stop and the school, as he was quickly discovering that the forest was dead. The trees were black and rotting, the earth was an interesting shade of pink, and birdcall failed to drown out to sounds of the ocean. The _red_ ocean. It was astounding that he completely missed the sound of a bicycle until it was almost too late.

* * *

**Subverting Comprehension**

_Nature's Ultimate Haemophile_

* * *

"What the-" Tsukune started to say, ultimately forced to turn around and confront his pursuer. What he found instead was a girl… he had to stop there to admire her figure briefly, then moved on to her pink hair, manic expression, and the fact that she was pushing highway speed limits on a ten-speed while wearing an obscene, pastel blue helmet with the kanji for 'girl' scrawled on the front in sharpie. His first thought was, _'No kidding, really?'_, but the second was _'This is going to hurt.'_

It did, too. The 'girl' was apparently so absorbed in something invisible two inches in front of her nose that Tsukune hadn't the time to move out of her way, nor did she have the time to stop. Instead, the pink-haired 'girl' braked (by moving her pedals backward! Sweet kami, what was he getting into?) and leaned to one side. What followed would have looked spectacular in slow motion, but nevertheless ended with _her_ standing on the gravel path, looking somewhat dazed, and _him_, lying on the ground with his limbs tangled with a bicycle that he was astonished to find didn't have training wheels.

"Ahh… ahh... Oh, geez! I'm so, _so_ sorry, mister!" the 'girl' shouted, rushing forward and crouching down by Tsukune's side. "Are you all right, mister? I'm _sorry_, I just didn't see you there!" Even with an enormous amount of pain filtering through his brain, the Aono was still able to enjoy the way that her school uniform covered her breasts so snugly.

"Mmm, firm," he said aloud, immediately horrified by his words. Tsukune was comforted that she appeared to have returned to whatever plane of existence she'd been in on her bike. "I smell blood," she whispered, her eyes round and shining.

"Uhh, yes," admitted the hapless teenager. "I think your bike fractured my left tibia, which really doesn't make sense. You'd need way more force to break human bones than what _you_ could get on a bike, which makes me wonder…"

She wasn't listening to him. Well gee, wasn't that great. Tsukune tried to stand up, but the searing agony in his backside and shin made him fall back, incidentally jabbing a handlebar into the back of his calf. Well, wasn't that swell? He was also pretty sure that human legs only had three major joints, so that new one between his knee and ankle was a little confusing. Then another wave of pain hit, and he nearly blacked out. A nervous fumble accidentally tossed his cell phone two meters in the psycho lady's direction, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Can you get that for me?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "I think if I try to move, I might black out. Does Youkai Academy have a competent nursing staff?"

"There's a hospital here." Huh. That was unexpected.

"I can smell blood…" Huh. That was _really_ unexpected.

"Hey," Tsukune joked, feeling his lower body go numb from the shock and, coincidentally, blood loss. "Whatever you were just smoking, can I have some? 'Cause man, that's some good weed your guy hooked you up with. Seriously, I'm feeling kinda down, just had a major injury and all, so I could use a pick-me-up." Was nothing going to get through her silly head that he was in imminent danger of kicking the metaphysical bucket?

The girl walked forward, finally, but stepped over his cell phone completely. He groaned, more in exasperation than pain, and waved feebly at the bit of metal and plastic, as if to say, _'you idiot! Go get my goddamn phone before I die of an exsanguination between school and the bus stop!'_ Unfortunately, she didn't seem to care. The pinkette was obviously stoned out of her mind, which was the only explanation his hazy mind could conjure to explain how she was able to completely ignore the fact that he was drowning in his own bodily fluids in the middle of a forest.

"You're bleeding," she whispered, advancing a little more towards the prone boy. Tsukune was starting to feel a little weird, like he'd stepped into the twilight zone. It fit with that tunnel he'd come through, that was for sure. Fireworks going off everywhere, creepy whispers, the windows of the bus rattling in their frames, the complete lack of sentient life (the driver certainly didn't count!)… it all added up. Any minute now, the baked girl's head was going to unzip like a Halloween costume and Rod Serling would step out.

"…It lies between the summit of all man's knowledge, and the pit of his fears. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the-CHRIST ALMIGHTY!" yelped Tsukune, jerking violently away as the bane of his existence stepped on his left foot, wrenching his entire leg in a new direction entirely. The blood stain on his pant leg suddenly erupted like a geyser, and her eyes locked on the spurt of vital liquid. Tsukune screamed like a girl, though his voice cracked halfway through and he was reduced to whining like a dog with its vocal chords cut. An arc of blood shot through the air, staining the ground and the bike a nice shade of mauve, as well as getting splattered on his unusual companion's body. The girl held up her right hand to the sun, light filtering through the red droplets on her index finger, and she _licked it_.

There was almost an erotic element to the action, which had Tsukune both confused and disgusted as she ran her abnormally long tongue over her finger, the blood vanishing down her throat. She smiled, and he could have sworn that her canines elongated while he watched, a thin red film coating her front teeth.

"Delicious… It tastes exactly like mother told me it did," she marveled, shifting from one foot to the other in her excitement. Needless to say, the extra pressure on Tsukune's leg wasn't helping any, but hey, who was he to get in the way of her blood-drinking orgasm with something as petty as dying? How selfish of him!

"Guuh!" he moaned, trying desperately to move the frame of the bike out from underneath himself, and failing miserably. He had absolutely no leverage, which meant that his chance of seeing the sunrise again was entirely dependant on the vampire stoner currently exacerbating a serious injury by standing on it. Who also appeared to be having a sexual reaction to his blood, which was at the same time flattering and deeply unsettling.

She bent down, leaned forward, and licked the fabric of his pants, her tongue eagerly lapping at whatever blood was left. Not much, considering the amount he'd already lost, but it didn't appear to matter to her. "Mmmm, all gone," she murmured sadly, and promptly hurled herself forward. Tsukune stifled a grunt as the impact drove him back onto the frame of the bike, and desperately tried to ignore her breasts pressing into his chest.

"You taste _so good_," she moaned, and now Tsukune was having a much harder time ignoring it. "I want the rest of you…"

"Sorry," he mumbled, cursing the fact that both his hands were pinned down, "I don't put out on the first date."

"Lovely," she pronounced, opening her mouth wide and leaning over his face. A flash of red, a spark of something feral passed behind her pupils, and the girl bit his shoulder.

"Aaaaaah," Tsukune moaned again, both from the pain and the fact that he was, against all odds, turned on. He could actually feel her sucking the blood out of his carotid artery, starving his brain of oxygen as the thick, salty liquid was drawn from him by a sexy human vacuum. He was actually starting to feel sort of… _good_, against all odds, a nice feeling generated by their physical closeness and the obvious importance she put on the act. Then his body passed a limit of some kind, roughly a liter and a half, and his head slumped back as he fell unconscious.

XXX

When Tsukune came to, he was in a hospital room with an IV full of clear liquid jammed into his left arm. His shirt had been torn off, replaced by a wide strip of bandages winding around his upper torso, which itched. A plaster cast wound from his left knee to ankle, surrounded by a black plastic brace. The break no longer burned quite so heavily, the feelings fading to a dull annoyance that weighed on his every thought and action. He took a moment to sort out his thoughts, then turned his attention to the other people in the room, of which there were three.

The first was a man in the robes of a Catholic priest, a rosary made of some heavy metal hanging around his neck. His face was all but obscured by his hood, save for the eyes of starburst white shining in the darkness. Maybe he was the bus driver's father or cousin, or something.

The second was a nurse, her white hat lopsided and her face red from shouting profusely at someone. Blonde hair fell in thick waves to her shoulders, and her eyes were an interesting shade of orange. All of her fingers were splayed, palms pressed to her hips. Tsukune noticed that they were really, _really_ long, which was not an observation he would normally make. On the other hand, the last person with an unusually proportioned body part was a homicidal stoner, so he felt justified in his nervousness.

The last person was none other than the homicidal stoner, now looking properly abashed and thoroughly scolded from trying to kill a fellow student. Her helmet hung from one hand, and every once in a while she reached up to wipe at her mouth with her sleeve. Mud and grime clung to her hair wildly, but that hardly detracted from her starling beauty. Now that her eyes were no longer glazed and useless, they were filled with a sort of intelligent curiosity, one that Tsukune recognized from the face of his elder cousin every time she deigned to share something with her seven-year-old companion that was well over his head. It did not bode well for his future.

"It seems that Aono has awoken," the enigmatic priest noted, not turning his head to look at the boy. "Akashiya, perhaps you could apologize for your actions before we explain the situation to your new friend?"

_'That doesn't sound good. What the hell did my mom sign me up for?'_

"Tsukune," the 'girl' began, approaching the bed, "I apologize for my assault on your person, for the unfortunate wound you incurred as the result of my inattentiveness, and for your present condition in all ways that can be traced back to my actions."

"It's good," he dismissed. "You were chasing the dragon, I get it."

"What?" she asked, confused. "I've only met one dragon before, and I certainly never chased her! She would have charbroiled me!"

"Uhh, you were high," Tsukune clarified. "You know, weed?" He mimed puffing on a cigarette. "Wow, you sure you aren't still out of it?"

"No, I was on the ground," she refuted. "And I've never attempted to smoke anything, much less something I found while tending my garden. Are you referring to my state of bloodlust?"

The nurse shot Tsukune an apologetic look, which he returned with a shrug. So she was a nutcase _and_ socially backwards? "Moka," the nurse urged, "don't you have to go meet up with your dorm manager before you move in tonight?"

Moka brightened instantly. "Yeah, that's right! G'bye Tsukune, your blood was delicioius! Maybe we could meet again, later?" She leaned in and whispered, _'Tomorrow, behind the science building?'_ The pinkette delivered a cute puppy-dog look to the hapless male, and sauntered out with the nurse in tow. Tsukune's mouth fell open, and the eccentric fellow had to reach over and gently close it again.

"Mr. Aono," he prompted, and Tsukune snapped back to reality. "I-uh-sorry, what was that again?" he muttered in defeat, eyes drooping closed again. Suddenly, he felt tired, and wondered if the IV was dripping sedative.

"Yes, it's a mild anesthetic," the man confirmed. "Don't touch it, you'll get infected."

_'Whoa, what the hell? Who is-'_

"I am the headmaster of Youkai Academy," the man filled in. "My name is Mikogami, but different people have different names for me."

"Good t'meet you," Tsukune went on, trying to stay awake despite the temptation of sleep. "List'n c'n yah tell me whur… where the… th'…" he fell back. The Exorcist took his hand off the valve of the drip, switching it back to a slow flow from the brief moment of lucidity. "Wha' th' hell?"

XXX

"Mrs. Yakumaru, why did that happen to me?" Moka asked carefully. "I've never had problems with that sort of thing before now, and there are just so many things that confuse me!"

"What do you mean?" the nurse countered, her voice a seductively feminine lilt. "Why did it happen to you? Happen to Mister Aono? Why his blood tasted like it did?"

"All of them," the Akashiya admitted. "I've had blood before, not just those disgusting tomato-flavored substitutes my older sister gave me. Mostly it was stuff I stole from dad's stash of good stuff, and even _that_ didn't compare to Tsukune's blood!"

"Well, considering that what you've had already was probably at least partially alcoholic, that goes a long way in explaining the properties of Aono's blood. From what I can tell, you were only a few minutes away from sexually molesting the poor guy!"

Moka's pale face turned a shade of brilliant scarlet, and a soft red light pulsed once beneath her shirt. "M-Mako!" she screeched, shooting glances every which way to ensure that nobody was watching - or worse, listening. "How can you say that about me?"

"Easily enough," the nurse shrugged. "When he was brought into the hospital a few hours ago, he was significantly aroused, and missing his shirt. Officially, we attributed all of his wounds to the crash, but unless I miss my guess, those scratches all over his chest and back were from your fingernails. Then there's the fact that you drank more than half a gallon of his blood, and acted much as person would if they were under the influence of marijuana. Need I go on?"

"Oh." Moka fumed quietly. "I see, Mrs. Yakamaru. But is it him or me?"

"Well, I would have to say both," Mako theorized. "I suspect that your reaction to his blood is unique to you, in that the blood of anyone would be much easier to resist, but it may also be a genetic trait belonging to him. You would have to find another vampire to test that, so for now it's safe to say that that we know next to nothing, and it will probably stay that way for a good long while."

"You're so helpful it's unbelievable," Moka hissed, then slumped. "I have to show him around the school! That's so, so… _not fair_! He's never gonna listen to me if all I want is to drink his blood! And now he thinks I want to jump his bones!"

"He _is_ rather handsome," commented Mako. "Don't worry about it, there's nothing you can do about your problem, if you can call it that-"

"Don't laugh!" Moka cried, pointing at the nurse with accusation in her voice. "It's not funny at all!"

Mako raised her hands in defense. "How is that a problem?" she teased good-naturedly. "You have a hot guy wrapped around your little finger, and he's delicious!" Moka was almost positive that Mrs. Yakamaru wasn't talking about his blood.

"Just… just don't!" she screamed, embarrassed, and promptly ducked through the back door of the dorm. Mako heard the click of the lock closing behind her, and snickered softly. "Naïve little girl," she chuckled, and walked away. A stone tile in the pathway flared up, a soft golden light surrounding her body, and the nurse disappeared in the darkness.

The school slept.


End file.
